We live in a culture that worships “grit,” “hustle,” and “taking charge.” We are told from a young age that if we just work harder, plan better, and manifest our desires, we can control our destiny. But what happens when the plan falls apart? What happens when the diagnosis comes, the relationship ends, or the dream job vanishes?
In “I Give Up: The Secret Joy of a Surrendered Life,” Grammy Award-winning singer and songwriter Laura Story offers a counterintuitive solution to the exhaustion of trying to manage the universe: Surrender.
Through her own harrowing and beautiful journey—specifically dealing with her husband Martin’s brain tumor and the resulting long-term disabilities—Laura explores the profound freedom found in waving the white flag. This isn’t a book about giving up in defeat; it’s about giving up control to a God who is far more capable than we are.
Section 1: Surrender… Who Me? (Life Beyond Control)
The book opens with a reality check that most of us spend our lives trying to avoid: Control is an illusion.
The Myth of Management
Laura Story admits what we all feel: we like being the captains of our own ships. We believe that if we follow a certain moral or practical “formula,” our lives should turn out a certain way. However, Story argues that “life beyond control” isn’t a threat; it’s a reality.
When we try to control our circumstances, we aren’t actually powerful—we are just anxious. We become “micromanagers of the Almighty,” trying to tweak every detail of our lives to ensure safety and comfort. Laura points out that surrender is often the last thing we want to do because we equate it with losing. But in the Kingdom of God, surrender is the starting point for true peace.
Finding Joy in the “Broken”
One of the most poignant themes in this opening section is that joy is not the absence of suffering, but the presence of God. Laura shares that her “broken” life—living with a husband who has significant memory loss and health challenges—is not a life “less than.” By letting go of the “ideal” life she had planned, she was able to embrace the beautiful, messy, and miraculous life God actually gave her.
Section 2: Dear God: Let’s Be Co-Rulers, Love, Me
In one of the most relatable chapters, Laura dives into the subtle ways we try to negotiate with the Creator. We rarely tell God “No” directly; instead, we offer to be “Co-Rulers.”
The Negotiator’s Heart
We treat God like a consultant rather than a King. We bring Him our plans and ask Him to sign off on them, or we offer “deals”: “God, if You fix this situation, I’ll never complain again.”
Story exposes the humor and the heartbreak in this approach. When we try to co-rule, we end up carrying a weight we were never meant to bear. She explains that:
- God doesn’t need a co-pilot.
- Our “help” usually just creates more anxiety.
- True surrender means resigning from the board of directors of the universe.
Resigning from the Throne
The author challenges readers to look at their prayer lives. Are we asking God to align with our will, or are we seeking to align with His? The “Secret Joy” mentioned in the title begins the moment we stop trying to manage God and start trusting Him.
Section 3: Who Do I Surrender To? (A Great, Good, Trustworthy God)
Surrender is only as good as the person you are surrendering to. If you surrender to a tyrant, you are a slave. If you surrender to a loving Father, you are a child at rest. Laura spends significant time establishing the character of God.
A God Who Knows
We can surrender because God has Infinite Knowledge. Unlike us, He isn’t surprised by the “Plan B” of our lives. He sees the end from the beginning. Laura explains that when we feel lost in our circumstances, we can rest knowing that God is not lost.
A God Who Loves Me
This isn’t an abstract, theological love. It is a personal, sacrificial love. Story emphasizes that God’s “No” or “Wait” is often a manifestation of His love. We surrender because we believe that His heart toward us is fundamentally kind.
A God Who Keeps His Promises
Laura distinguishes between God’s promises and our expectations.
- Expectation: God will make sure I am wealthy and healthy.
- Promise: God will never leave me or forsake me.
- Expectation: My life will be easy if I follow Him.
- Promise: In this world, you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world.
By surrendering to a God who keeps His actual promises, we find a foundation that doesn’t shift when the storms of life hit.
Section 4: How Do I Surrender? (The Practical Steps)
Knowing why we should surrender is one thing; knowing how is another. Laura breaks this down into three actionable movements:
Surrender by Letting Go
This is the “exhale” of the soul. It involves identifying the “idols of control” we cling to—our reputation, our bank accounts, or our children’s success—and physically and spiritually opening our hands. It is the act of saying, “This is Yours, not mine.”
Surrender by Choosing to Believe
Surrender is an act of the will. It’s a daily (and sometimes hourly) choice to believe that God is who He says He is, despite what our circumstances look like. It’s choosing truth over feelings.
Surrender by Acting “As If”
This is perhaps the most practical advice in the book. Story suggests that sometimes we don’t feel surrendered, but we can act “as if” God is in control.
- If I really believe God is in control of my finances, how would I sleep tonight?
- If I really believe God loves my rebellious child more than I do, how would I pray?
- Action often leads the heart. By acting in obedience, our feelings eventually catch up to the truth.
Section 5: What Happens When I Surrender?
The final portion of the book focuses on the “fruit” of surrender. It isn’t just a private spiritual exercise; it has a massive ripple effect on the world around us.
My Choices Impact Others
When we live a life of surrender, people notice. A person who is at peace in the midst of a storm is a walking miracle. Laura notes that her surrender to Martin’s illness changed the atmosphere of her home and encouraged others in her community to trust God with their own burdens.
Relationships Can Heal and Thrive
Much of our relational conflict comes from trying to control others. When we surrender our “right” to be right or our need for others to behave a certain way, we create space for grace. Surrender allows us to love people as they are, rather than as we want them to be.
Reconciliation is Possible
Surrender is the key to forgiveness. By surrendering our desire for “justice” or revenge into God’s hands, we are freed to reconcile with those who have hurt us. It takes the “debt” off our books and puts it onto God’s.
I Leave a Legacy
A surrendered life is a legacy of faith. Laura reflects on how she wants her children to remember her—not as someone who had a perfect life, but as someone who had a perfect God. A legacy of surrender teaches the next generation that God is enough.
I Worship
Ultimately, surrender is the highest form of worship. It is the “living sacrifice” mentioned in Romans 12:1. When we give up our lives, we are acknowledging that God is worth more than our comfort.
The Core Message: What Laura Story Wants to Convey
The central message of “I Give Up” is that surrender is not the end of the story; it is the beginning of a better one.
Laura Story wants to strip away the shame associated with “giving up.” In the world’s eyes, giving up is a sign of weakness. In the Kingdom of God, giving up our own strength is the only way to tap into His.
She conveys that the “Secret Joy” isn’t found in getting everything we want. It’s found in the relief of realizing we don’t have to carry the world on our shoulders. The author wants her readers to move from a life of striving to a life of abiding.
“Surrender is the only path to the life you’ve always wanted, but were too afraid to ask for—a life where you are not the hero, but God is.”
Summary of Key Takeaways
Section | Core Concept | Practical Application |
The Problem | We are addicted to control. | Identify where you are “micromanaging” God. |
The Solution | Resigning as “Co-Ruler.” | Stop negotiating and start obeying. |
The Trust | God is Good, Knowing, and Faithful. | Focus on God’s character, not your crisis. |
The Method | Letting go and acting “As If.” | Practice the physical act of opening your hands. |
The Result | Healing, Legacy, and Worship. | Watch how your peace impacts your family and friends. |
Final Review: Why You Should Read This Book
“I Give Up” is a refreshing, honest, and deeply theological book that feels like a conversation with a friend over coffee. Laura Story doesn’t offer “five easy steps to a perfect life.” Instead, she offers a companion for the valley.
Whether you are facing a massive life crisis or just the daily grind of anxiety and “to-do” lists, this book provides a roadmap back to the heart of God. It is a call to stop fighting the waves and start trusting the One who walks on them.
FAQs
Q1. Is this book only for Christians?
The book is faith-based, but its message about control and trust resonates universally.
Q2. Does the book focus on suffering?
Yes, but through a hopeful lens that emphasizes growth and faith.
Q3. Is it practical or purely spiritual?
It blends real-life examples with spiritual insight.
Q4. Can this book help during hard seasons?
Absolutely. It’s especially meaningful during uncertainty and pain.
Q5. What is the biggest takeaway from the book?
True freedom begins when we stop trying to control everything and trust God instead.