In the modern era of “self-help” Christianity and digital isolation, the word discipleship often feels like a buzzword relegated to a program or a weekly coffee meetup. However, in his transformative book, Discipling: How to Help Others Follow Jesus, Mark Dever challenges this narrow view. Part of the “Building Healthy Churches” series, this book serves as a foundational manual for what it means to live out the Great Commission in the context of the local church.
Dever’s thesis is simple yet radical: Discipling is not a program; it is a lifestyle of intentional influence. It is the process of doing good to others so that they might grow in likeness to Christ.
Part 1: What is Discipling?
Dever begins by stripping away the complexities we often attach to the term. To him, discipling is fundamentally about influence with a purpose.
The Inevitability of Influence
We often think of influence as something reserved for “influencers” or leaders. Dever argues that influence is actually unavoidable. Whether you realize it or not, you are influencing the people around you—your family, your coworkers, and your fellow church members.
The question isn’t if you will influence others, but how. Christian discipling is simply taking that natural human capacity for influence and directing it toward the glory of God and the spiritual maturity of others.
Oriented Toward Others
The heart of discipling is a shift in posture. In a culture obsessed with “self-care” and “my spiritual journey,” Dever calls for a disorientation from self. To disciple others, you must be oriented toward their needs, their growth, and their struggles.
This mirrors the humility of Christ. It involves looking at your schedule, your resources, and your life not as assets to be hoarded, but as tools to be deployed for the benefit of another person’s soul.
The Work of Discipling
What does the “work” actually look like? Dever defines it as “helping others follow Jesus.” This involves:
- Teaching: Sharing the truths of Scripture.
- Correcting: Gently pointing out sin or error.
- Modeling: Showing, not just telling, what a life of faith looks like.
It isn’t just about a 1-hour meeting; it’s about inviting people into your life—letting them see how you handle stress, how you treat your spouse, and how you repent when you fail.
Objections to Discipling
Dever is a realist. He addresses common excuses:
- “I’m not qualified”: You don’t need a seminary degree to share what God is doing in your life.
- “I don’t have time”: We make time for what we value.
- “It’s awkward”: Growth often happens in the “awkward” spaces of vulnerability.
He counters these by reminding us that the command to “make disciples” wasn’t a suggestion for the elite; it was a mandate for every believer.
Part 2: Where Should We Disciple?
Dever is a staunch advocate for the local church. He argues that discipling outside the context of a local body of believers is like trying to grow a plant without soil.
The Local Church: The Natural Greenhouse
The local church is the “natural environment” for discipling. It provides a diversity of ages, backgrounds, and spiritual gifts that a solo mentorship or a parachurch organization cannot replicate.
In the church, discipling is protected by accountability. It’s not just two people in a vacuum; it’s two people who are part of a larger family, governed by elders and supported by a community.
Pastors and Members
A common misconception is that discipling is “the pastor’s job.” Dever flips this script.
- The Pastor’s Role: Pastors are called to “equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:12). Their job is to teach the Word and model discipling so that the members can do it.
- The Member’s Role: The bulk of discipling happens “in the pews.” It happens when an older woman invites a younger woman for lunch, or when two men decide to read a Christian book together.
Dever emphasizes that a healthy church is one where “every-member ministry” is the norm, not the exception.
Part 3: How Should We Disciple?
This is the “nuts and bolts” section of the book. Dever provides a practical roadmap for starting and sustaining a discipling relationship.
Choose Someone
How do you pick a “Timothy” or a “Paul”? Dever suggests looking for:
- F.A.T. People: Faithful, Available, and Teachable.
- Proximity: Someone you already see regularly.
- Needs: Someone who is at a different stage of life or struggling in an area where you have grown.
He encourages us not to wait for a “divine spark” but to look around at our current church community and simply ask, “Would you like to meet once a week to read the Bible?”
Have Clear Aims
Discipling without a goal is just hanging out. While friendship is a vital byproduct, the aim must be spiritual growth. Dever suggests setting clear expectations:
- How often will we meet?
- What will we study?
- What are we praying for?
Pay the Cost
Discipling is expensive. It costs time, emotional energy, and transparency. Dever warns that people will disappoint you. They might stop showing up, or they might struggle with the same sin for years. “Paying the cost” means sticking with them anyway, reflecting the long-suffering love that Christ has for us.
Raising Up Leaders
The ultimate goal of discipling is multiplication. You aren’t just helping someone follow Jesus; you are helping them learn how to help others follow Jesus. Dever notes that this is how the church expands. By investing deeply in a few, you are actually reaching the many. He focuses on “leadership pipelines”—identifying those with the gift of teaching or oversight and giving them more responsibility.
Conclusion by Jonathan Leeman
The book concludes with a powerful reflection by Jonathan Leeman, who helps tie Dever’s ecclesiology (theology of the church) to the practice of discipling. Leeman reminds us that discipling is the “lifeblood” of the church. Without it, a church becomes a mere lecture hall. With it, it becomes a living, breathing body.
“Discipling is simply love expressed in a spiritual direction.” — Jonathan Leeman
Appendix: Books Besides the Bible to Use
Dever is a firm believer that while the Bible is our primary text, “good books are great tools.” The appendix provides a curated list of resources categorized by topic:
- For New Believers: Christianity Explained, What is the Gospel?
- On Character: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs.
- On the Church: What is a Healthy Church? by Mark Dever.
- On Theology: Knowing God by J.I. Packer.
Using a book provides a structure for conversation and ensures that the “teaching” element of discipling stays grounded in sound doctrine.
What is the Author’s Main Message?
If you were to boil Mark Dever’s message down to a single sentence, it would be this: Christianity is a communal project of intentional, spiritual influence centered on the local church.
It’s About Responsibility
Dever wants to strip away the “consumer” mindset of modern church-going. You aren’t just a customer at a church; you are a steward of the people sitting next to you. You are responsible for their soul, and they are responsible for yours.
It’s About the Glory of God
We don’t disciple people so we can feel like “mentors” or have a large following. we disciple because as people grow in holiness, God’s character is more clearly reflected in the world.
It’s Simple but Hard
The beauty of Dever’s approach is its simplicity. You don’t need a stage. You just need a Bible, two chairs, and a heart for others. However, it is “hard” because it requires us to die to our own schedules and comfort.
Final Review: Why You Should Read This Book
Discipling: How to Help Others Follow Jesus is a refreshing antidote to the over-complicated, program-driven models of church growth.
Pros:
- Highly Practical: It gives you the “how-to” without being legalistic.
- Theologically Grounded: Every suggestion is rooted in a high view of Scripture and the Church.
- Short and Accessible: Part of the “9Marks” series, it’s designed to be read in a few sittings.
Cons:
- Church-Centric: If you are looking for a guide on “parachurch” ministry, this book might feel restrictive, though its principles still apply.
Whether you are a seasoned pastor or a new believer, Dever’s insights will change the way you look at the person sitting in the pew next to you. It will move you from being a spectator to a participant in the greatest work on earth: the building of Christ’s Church.
FAQs
Q1. Is this book only for pastors?
No. It’s written primarily for ordinary church members.
Q2. Is discipling the same as mentoring?
Not exactly. Discipling is explicitly centered on helping someone follow Jesus, not just offering life advice.
Q3. Do I need a structured program to disciple someone?
No. Intentional relationships rooted in Scripture are enough.
Q4. Can new Christians disciple others?
Yes—especially those who are newer than them in faith.
Q5. What makes this book different from other discipleship books?
Its simplicity, biblical clarity, and strong grounding in the local church.