Navigating relationships with grace, wisdom, and honesty can be a challenging balance. Lysa TerKeurst’s Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are provides a biblically grounded, richly practical six-week study designed to help readers set healthy boundaries and say hard goodbyes without sacrificing love or integrity. This blog post explores the study guide’s six weeks in detail, unpacking key lessons, biblical insights, and application practices while revealing the profound message TerKeurst conveys about relational health and spiritual wholeness.
Week 1: Boundaries Aren’t Just a Good Idea
In the first week, TerKeurst shatters the misconception that boundaries are selfish walls built to push people away. Instead, she paints boundaries as necessary “fences” that protect our hearts, identities, and capacity to love authentically.
Drawing on the Old Testament story of God placing a boundary around the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3), she illustrates how boundaries signify care and intentionality. Boundaries are protective—not punitive—and are vital for emotional and spiritual well-being.
Key Takeaways:
- Boundaries preserve intimacy rather than diminish it.
- They prevent dysfunction by defining what is and isn’t acceptable.
- Boundaries require courage and self-awareness but empower love that is sustainable.
Application Tips:
- Reflect on areas in your life where boundaries feel blurry or nonexistent.
- Pray for wisdom to recognize where boundaries need strengthening.
Week 2: A Relationship Can Only Be as Healthy as the People in It
TerKeurst acknowledges the painful truth that often, relationships suffer because one or both parties are unhealthy or wounded. This reality isn’t an excuse to give up but a call to honesty and self-care.
Important Insights:
- Recognizing dysfunction or toxicity is not betrayal but a step toward healing.
- Healthy relationships require participants who are self-aware and committed to growth.
- Dysfunctional people patterns can sometimes normalize harmful interactions.
Through personal stories and biblical examples, TerKeurst guides readers to approach broken relationships with compassion but also with clarity about the limits of their responsibility.
Exercises:
- Journal about your role and boundaries in specific relationships.
- Identify patterns that undermine relational health.
Week 3: Maybe We’ve Been Looking at Walls All Wrong
This week reframes boundaries. Instead of viewing boundaries as walls or barriers that isolate, TerKeurst invites readers to see them as fences—healthy protections that guard precious spaces within us.
Highlights:
- Boundaries are about what we protect, not what we exclude.
- Guarding your heart is an act of love—for yourself and others.
- The metaphor of fences helps reduce feelings of guilt or selfishness about boundaries.
The author connects this to biblical teaching on God’s protective boundaries, inviting readers to embrace a grace-filled view of setting limits.
Application:
- Evaluate how you interpret your own boundaries—are they defensive walls or loving fences?
- Make boundary-setting a spiritual practice rooted in self-respect and divine love.
Week 4: Old Patterns, New Practices
TerKeurst tackles common unhealthy relationship habits—like people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or ignoring personal needs—that sabotage boundaries and relationships.
Key Lessons:
- Old patterns often feel familiar and safe but keep us trapped.
- New practices include clear communication, consistency, and saying “no” respectfully.
- Establishing and maintaining boundaries is a skill that improves with practice and prayer.
The chapter encourages patience and acknowledges missteps as normal parts of growth.
Exercises:
- Identify a pattern you wish to change.
- Outline new practices and commit to practicing them with prayerful intention.
Week 5: People in the Bible Who Had to Say Hard Goodbyes
Biblical narratives show that goodbyes can be hard but necessary for spiritual growth and protection.
Examples Explored:
- Paul and Barnabas’s separation (Acts 15:36-41)
- Ruth and Naomi’s parting (Ruth 1)
- Jesus and Judas Iscariot’s farewell
TerKeurst emphasizes that not all goodbyes are failures; some are acts of faith and obedience.
Takeaways:
- Saying goodbye can open space for new beginnings.
- God’s grace sustains us through farewell seasons.
- Boundaries and goodbye are often intertwined.
Application:
- Reflect on relationships needing healthy closure.
- Pray for courage and peace to say hard goodbyes when necessary.
Week 6: You Are Going to Make It
The final week offers encouragement and hope. TerKeurst reminds readers they are not alone and that healthy boundaries ultimately lead to freedom, joy, and deeper authenticity.
Encouragement Themes:
- Boundaries empower restoration and joy.
- Endurance in boundary-setting nurtures spiritual maturity.
- God strengthens and equips you for relational health.
The study closes by urging ongoing self-compassion, accountability, and grace.
The Author’s Message: Boundaries as an Expression of God’s Love and Our Worth
Lysa TerKeurst’s core message is profoundly hopeful: healthy boundaries and saying goodbyes when needed are not only wise but godly acts of love—for ourselves and for others. Boundaries honor the value God has put in each of us and protect the sacred spaces necessary for love to thrive.
TerKeurst dismantles the misconception that boundaries isolate or harm relationships. Instead, they serve as fences that lovingly guard against dysfunction while creating fertile ground for authentic intimacy.
By intertwining biblical examples, personal stories, practical exercises, and spiritual reflections, TerKeurst provides a roadmap for emotional freedom and healthier, Christ-centered relationships.
Why This Bible Study Guide Matters
- It combines biblical teaching with real-world application.
- It equips believers to set boundaries without guilt or fear.
- It empowers healthy goodbyes to nurture personal growth.
- It nurtures relational wholeness from inside out.
- It offers tools suitable for individual study or group discussion.
For anyone longing for healthier, more loving relationships that don’t require sacrificing identity, this study offers guidance steeped in scripture and grace.
Practical Takeaway Reflection for Readers
- How do you currently view boundaries—as walls or fences?
- Are there old relational patterns you sense need transformation?
- Who in your life might require a hard goodbye to preserve health?
- How might God be inviting you into a new season of relational freedom?
- What steps can you take to practice boundaries with compassion?
Conclusion
Lysa TerKeurst’s Good Boundaries and Goodbyes Bible Study Guide invites readers into a journey of loving well without losing oneself. It unpacks the spiritual and emotional wisdom necessary to cultivate healthy boundaries, compassion, courage, and freedom in relationships.
With biblical grounding and personal honesty, this six-week study equips believers to guard their hearts wisely, embrace hard goodbyes when needed, and live in the fullness of relational wholeness God desires for His children.
For those ready to build stronger, healthier relationships anchored in grace and truth, this study is an invaluable companion.
FAQs
Q1. What is the main message of “Good Boundaries and Goodbyes”?
The book teaches how to love others deeply while maintaining spiritual and emotional health through God-centered boundaries.
Q2. Who should read this book?
Anyone who struggles with people-pleasing, emotional exhaustion, or toxic relationships will benefit from Lysa’s guidance.
Q3. Does the book include Bible verses?
Yes, each chapter is rooted in Scripture and offers reflections, journaling prompts, and prayers.
Q4. Can this study be done in a group setting?
Absolutely. It includes discussion questions and video sessions ideal for small groups or women’s ministries.
Q5. What makes this book unique?
It blends emotional wisdom with biblical truth, helping readers set boundaries not from bitterness, but from love.